11 Lessons about Women and Relationships from a Bangkok Expat

thai girls

Today we have a contribution from Sebastian over at Global Seducer

day game


I live in Bangkok and I am in a relationship with a Thai girl.

She is an amazing woman. In fact, she is everything I ever wanted in a woman. She’s beautiful, feminine, educated and compassionate.

And no, I don’t wear rose-colored glasses.

I’m aware of the fact that not everything is as it seems in Thailand. I know that not every beautiful Thai girl who smiles at you does this because she really likes you. But I have enough experience living in Bangkok to distinguish between the rotten apples and the real diamonds.

Unfortunately, most men who come to Thailand for the first time have no idea how it really is. They just see the beautiful façade, the inviting smiles and the shining lights. They don’t see what’s going on behind the curtain.

By sharing the following 11 lessons, I want to give you the chance to look behind the curtain and to see what’s really going on.


  1. Men Are Longing for Feminine Women

Do you believe it when a man who is in a relationship with an overweight, short-haired and nagging Western woman tells you that he is happy?

I don’t.

I know the truth and the truth is that he is not happy. You just have to look into the eyes of a Western tourist who walks around in Bangkok with his Western girlfriend or wife.

It usually goes like this:

She complains about the heat while he gazes after every slim Thai girl. No matter what she says, he answers with “yeah, yeah”. He doesn’t even listen.

I’ve seen hundreds of these couples and I never know if it’s entertaining or just sad.

The truth is that men are longing for feminine women.


  1. Thai Women Are Attracted to Gentlemen

The men in the West are sick and tired of playing games. They don’t want to pretend to be bad boys in order to get girls.

You might be one of them. You might also think that it’s impossible to attract women by being friendly and polite.

Well, then you haven’t been to Thailand.

Many Thai girls don’t understand why Western women don’t appreciate it when a man is nice, polite and respectful. Thai women dream about dating a gentleman.


  1. Lack of Knowledge Can be Dangerous

If you come to Thailand and you don’t know anything about the Thai culture and the local dating customs, you’ll end up with the wrong girl.

I’ve seen it so many times and it’s always the same story…

A young guy visits Thailand for the very first time. The only knowledge he has about Thailand comes from two documentaries about Pattaya and Patpong. As a result, he believes that all Thai girls dress like hookers and are very open when it comes to sex.

Inevitably, he ends up with bar girl who uses him as a walking ATM.

A man who doesn’t know that Thailand is a conservative country and that a Thai girl with a good family background would never walk around in shorts that show her ass cheeks will end up with the wrong girl.


  1. You Can’t Get Scammed Unless You Allow It

Not knowing anything about the Thai culture can lead to a relationship with a wrong girl, but it’s not enough to get scammed. In order to fall for a relationship scam, you need to be really naïve, ignorant or simply stupid.

I know that the following statement will make a lot of guys angry, but it’s my honest opinion:

You can’t get scammed by a Thai girl unless you allow it.

I mean, come on. What do you expect when you build a house (that you can’t own) for a bar girl who was raised with the belief that foreigners are walking wallets that need to be emptied?

Surprise, surprise, there’s a high chance that she will kick you out of the house once you built it for her.

Please use your brain before you do anything you will regret.


  1. A Relationship with a Bar Girl is Not a Relationship

No matter how many times you tell yourself that it’s a relationship, it’s not. It’s a transaction. That’s what it really is.

And please don’t get me wrong. I don’t judge anyone for being together with bar girls. If it makes you happy, do it. But don’t call it a relationship.

Most relationships between Western men and Thai bar girls look like this:

She: “I need money”

He: “Here are 1000 baht”

She: “I love you”

This is true love.


  1. Most Men Are Unhappy with Their Western Wives

I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

I’ve talked to so many men in Bangkok who were in relationships with Western women. Some of them were even married.

At the beginning of a conversation they usually ask the same boring questions about tourist attractions. After two beers they ask what they really want to know.

“So, how is it to be together with a Thai woman?”

“What’s the best way to get to know Thai girls? I’m just curious…”

Of course, he’s just curious. You just have to talk to these guys for 30 minutes and you know that 90% of them are incredibly unhappy and unsatisfied in their relationships and marriages.


  1. A Lot of Male Expats are Lying to Themselves

Yes, a lot of Western men are lying to themselves whenever they say “I love my wife”. But at the same time, a lot of male expats in Bangkok do the same, especially the ones who are together with a bar girl.

Sorry, but if you are 82 and your “girlfriend” is 19, she’s not together with you because she loves you.

Again, don’t get me wrong. I know many guys who are in their fifties and together with girls in their twenties. Many Thai girls are into older guys and some of these couples are very happy.

But when you live in Thailand for a long time you will see some extremes that make it impossible to believe that love is involved.


  1. Western Women in Thailand Can’t Handle the Truth

There’s one moment I will never forget.

I was at a meet-up and most of the attendees were either American or Thai. Suddenly, one of the American girls, she must have been in her late thirties, said the following thing:

“I never had problems to find men in the USA but here in Bangkok it’s so hard to find someone. I don’t understand this.”

Maybe you understand it when I tell you that she was terribly obese and had purple hair. Oh, and she was really unfriendly to the waiters.

You could really see the different reactions from the American women and the Thai women at the table. The American women nodded their heads. The Thai women were speechless.


  1. A Relationship without Communication Will Fail  

What if you can’t speak Thai and your Thai girlfriend can’t speak English?

Sooner or later the relationship will fail, at least in my experience. Honest communication and deep conversations are the pillars of a happy relationship.

My advice: Learn Thai or date women who can speak English.

My girlfriend speaks English and a lot of other Thai women can speak English too. However, you won’t find these girls in the bars around Nana Plaza.


  1. The Wrong Thai Girl Can Destroy Your Life

You spend all your money on her. She runs away with a sponsor who gives her more.

You build a house for her. She kicks you out.

There are hundreds of stories of guys who messed up their lives by marrying the wrong Thai girl. Unfortunately, these guys are responsible for the fact that Thai women have such a bad reputation.

This is sad because there are so many amazing women in this country. You just have to stay away from the bars. Is that really so hard?


  1. The Right Thai Girl Can Make You Happy

I love my girlfriend. I really do.

She makes me happy and I try to be the best boyfriend I can.

I don’t say this to brag. I say this because I want you to know that it is possible to meet a Thai girl who makes you happy.

You just have to stay out of the bars and follow the advice I shared with you in this article.


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