Vietnam Dating Update

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So i’ve been in Vietnam for a few months now, travelled around a bit and wanted to post an update on dating in Vietnam compared to back home in the UK and other countries i’ve visited.

I always use Vietnam cupid to ‘pipeline’ before hitting a new country to line up new dates and get talking with the girls there. This is one of the best sites for finding dates in Vietnam and Asia in general for dating as there are literally 1000’s of hot girls on there so i recommend you take a look.

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Asian women are definitely leaving behind their traditional conservative nature which foreign men often come here to seek out when looking for a long term relationship (LTR.)

Women are drawn into the big cities with the lure of better salaries and better dating prospects (think rich Korean, Japanese and Western men) and the chance of a better life. Of course there’s nothing wrong with this, but the somewhat corrupting influence of alcohol, easy sex and short term flings can now be readily seen throughout much of South East Asia, with the accompanying detrimental effects.

I truly believe that any man who who wants to come to Asia in order to find a young and somewhat innocent girl for LTR or even marriage better get a move on.

There are many blogs out there that preach the virtues of Asian women, however i think it’s now time for a re-write. Even here in Danang, a somewhat quiet often over looked city in the middle of Vietnam where average wages are around $130 per month a change in attitude is rife. Girls typically have the latest scooter, smartphone, handbag and shoes alongside a ‘buy me this‘ attitude to match. Granted there are are some ‘good girls’ left although this is a phrase that means different things to different men…

Things to look out for when dating Asian girls.

As part of this article i wanted to list a few things that i think are important to take into consideration when looking for a LTR with an Asian girl and when trying to ‘suss them out.’ I’ve dated many women internationally and generally the same red flags in one country are the same in the next, people are similar the world over with women wired the same when it comes to attraction so the normal rules apply as well.

Her attitude to money. 

I placed this one first as this will be the number one sign as to her character and her long term relationship (LTR) potential. It’s no secret that the wages and financial status of people between the West and places such as SEA are huge. There are many girls here who are after your money, however luckily this should become evident fairly quickly during initial interactions with her.

Does she ever offer to pay or do you always get your wallet out? Often guys think that they are helping or rescuing some girl here if they pay all the time-but generally if she lets you do this and never offers to pay herself then this is a red flag. Also if she has the latest scooter, bag or shoes and only works part-time at the local restaurant for $30 month then you have to question where these things are coming from. I’ve heard many a story about girls here having multiple ‘boyfriends’ abroad who all send money etc.

Sure you might get some ‘free’ sex when you’re next in town but you’re paying for it one way or another! A wrote some more about my experiences of this here. 

Excessive social media usage and late night phone calls and emails.

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Hey it’s errrr…dad?

Sure papa/mama or the family buffalo may genuinely be sick at 4.37am on a Saturday night but trust your gut instinct. I’m sure you’ve gone through your phone in a drunken state during the early hours wondering who might just let you come over for the least effort and that’s what this normally is, a booty call from Dave in the shipyard who’s working at the local docks for a month and wants to get his end away..

Drinking, smoking & excessive tattoo’s.

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I’m a firm believer that women who abuse their body through alcohol, drugs and self mutilation (aka tattoos) also abuse it in other ways too…

The same goes for her letting you raw dog her on the first night-you’re not the first and won’t be the last. Definitely not LTR material.

Family issues.

Trying to understand Asian family dynamics is tough for any guy, let alone one who’s contemplating settling down with an Asian girl. A little drama is ok; women need emotional highs and lows and they tend to be more emotion driven than through logic, however bad family problems often get worse, and her problems will become yours in the context of a long term relationship.

Of course this applies to women all over the world, but i’ve seen some really bad family stuff here that should definitely preclude you from getting involved on a romantic level if you want to keep your sanity and wallet intact.

Her circle of friends.

‘Birds of a feather flock together’ and ‘you are the average of your five closest friends.’

These kind of phrases get spouted a lot but there’s definitely some truth here. people tend to get along with people similar to themselves with similar interests and values. Her best friend picked up 11 guys whilst on holiday in Bangkok and she says she went back to her room embarrassed to be seen with her-yeh right.

Whilst her mate was getting boned by Phil and his pal Steve from down under your potential mate was getting done by Zak from the local bar. I’ve been out with groups of friends many times and picked up groups of girls. Women tend to copy a lot of what their friends or celebrities do-bare this in mind next time your potential sweetheart makes out she’s the ‘good girl’ of a group of sluts and the one who always goes home first, don’t believe it for a second!

 

 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. Good post man. I’m one of those guys that advocates dating Asian girls but I agree with you 100%. It’s getting harder and harder to find a girl that I would actually consider dating long term. I love good girls, and hookers are fun, but then there is this HUGE grey area in between. That’s where guys need to be careful… It’s easy to fall for these girls so guys need to keep their wits about them!

    • Absolutely, i’ve been burned when i was almost certain i was on to a good thing. I think the majority of ‘good’ girls get locked down by local guys early on, and once the local girls are associated or seen with westerners they are no longer desired by local guys so they become westernised quickly i.e. sleeping around, drinking too much etc. It’s been a real eye opener living here for a year and a bumpy ride for sure, so watch that grey area guys and remember a red flag is a red flag, be it in the UK, US or SEA…

  2. Good advice, been “a lot” in HCMC. Done the tourist things, but want to take it to the next level when I return. Getting an apartment, maybe stay 6 month in Europe/ the US and 6 month in Vietnam.

    There are many Vietnamese women in the 30-45 cluster who struggle with a conservative society perception of how an unmarried lady should live her life. Many opportunities if you show authenticity

    • You will find that if you go on Tinder here it’s full of ‘older’ girls 30+ who are keen to meet Western guys. A lot have been burn’t before though so they can be a little cautious. Worth having a look though as it’s getting better.

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